So, I have been on the road a lot lately with all my cleans...yes, my cleaning business is up and running and it is definitely keeping me on my toes as I finish out my teaching contract! More on that later though...
Anyway, I have a lot of time to talk to God and listen to Christian music on the radio and just think. On Tuesday, I found out a former friend of mine lost her baby. I knew she was pregnant because we have so many mutual friends. We simply are not friends anymore for various reasons, but it came down to she did not approve of my parenting style and some harsh words were said that she told me she did not regret. It's been over a year since then, and I have long forgiven her, and I often think of her and pray for her. Anyway, back to my story...I knew she was pregnant with her second baby and had lost the baby. It was at that moment when I felt like God spoke as plain as day...mail her a card...be the bigger person...yes, she hurt you, but you have forgiven, and now you need to take the right step...mail a card...of course for me, the thoughts in my head starting going crazy. What if she gets angry with me? What if she thinks I did it out of spite? What if...and it was like He spoke clear as day again...forget the what ifs...be the bigger person...show her your heart...show her your sorrow for her.
So, I phoned a friend of mine here in Dallas who I am super close to and had shared the story of this former friend with in detail. I began to ask her if she thought I was crazy...I was so glad to hear that she didn't. It definitely was encouraging to hear that she thought that would be a great idea.
Do I think anything will come of the card? No...honestly...but I would not wish a lost pregnancy on anyone! What a hard thing to go through...what a hard thing to experience...what a hard thing to know that you have to endure a D and C and come home empty handed. I can't even imagine and my heart truly was broken for her that day.
So, off to Hallmark I went...in the mail the card went, even after much prayer.
And my prayer for that former friend today...that God grants her piece...that he heals her broken heart from this...that he reminds her that He is by her side...that she knows it is ok to grieve...all the things I wish I could say to her right now, I know God knows, and I pray that card conveys...
you see, all I wrote in it besides the words already on the card was sorry for your loss... and signed our names...
All I can pray for is that she sees my heart in it all and that my intentions were not bad ones.
Until later...
I will keep listening to God's voice...even when it's difficult...
Stephani
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